Mental Health: Suicidal Ideation as a Christ Follower

when life is too heavy

Trigger warning: this post discusses suicide and suicidal ideation in detail. Please take care of yourself and only read if you believe this will be helpful to you and your well-being. =)

Whether you are a Christian or not, suicide and suicidal ideation (referred to as SI in this article) are tricky topics. It is often a topic that is avoided at all costs. It is not understood and therefore not talked about. Many therapists have sought and are seeking to break the stigma associated with these topics. I want to commend them and their work in this area. It is greatly needed! This article should by no means be held seen as holding the same value as those written by individuals who are trained in this area. I am hoping, though, that it will be helpful, especially for those of us who follow Christ.

SI is also a topic that I am all too familiar with. It is something I have struggled with on and off for most of my life. (It is scary to put that sentence into this space, but I hope doing so makes you feel less alone.) This is also a thing that is felt and experienced by many in the church, more than we might realize.

I want to start by defining our terms: suicide is defined in this article as the physical taking of one’s own life. Suicidal Ideation (SI) is the thoughts (both intrusive and intentional) that lead one to consider taking their own life or even merely wanting to.

There are many questions I am sure you have that surround this topic. I don’t promise to answer them all, but I will do my best to present a biblical and theological perspective on this topic.

Let’s jump in!

1 Kings 19:4 gives us a biblical example of a God following person experiencing SI. This passage gives us a glimpse into the thoughts and mind of Elijah, one of God’s OT prophets. It reads, “…And he (Elijah) asked that he might die, saying, ‘It is enough, now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.’”

You may not be familiar with that scripture passage, I know I wasn’t until a friend and pastor shared it with me recently. I was struck by this passage, what it shows, and how God responds to Elijah. I think that it should be examined and studied. It makes us, as Christ followers who struggle with these things, feel seen and less alone. Let’s look at the story surrounding this verse.

The prophet Elijah has walked through multiple trials and hardships at this point in his life. The latest of these things has been his having to flee Queen Jezabel. His life was at stake; he was beaten down, overwhelmed, and discouraged. He probably felt alone, like no one could understand what he was going through. So, Elijah does what so many of us have done: he desires for his life here on earth to end. Even though 1 Kings doesn’t tell us of any plans or intent of Elijah, it is clear that there is a desire for his life to end.

Let’s look at how God responds to his prayer. In verses 5 through 8 of this chapter, God sends an angel to Elijah to give him food and tells him to eat. After the angel gives Elijah food, the text reads, “he ate and drank and [laid] down.”

There is a lot we can take from this passage. First, it is important to see what God does not do. He does not chide or judge Elijah for desiring his life to end. He does not ask him why he is thinking this way. He does not turn away from him or leave Elijah alone.

What God does in this passage is both simple and highly influential. He holistically cares for Elijah. He gives him food, water, and sleep. Before talking to him, before telling him what to do—how to serve Him, he meets Elijah’s most basic and primary needs. God shows his love and care for his people in this passage.

I think this passage holds a lot for us, too, even giving us a picture of how we should relate to those struggling with SI. Let’s look at two applications or implications we can draw from this passage:

1. God does not judge those who think thoughts concerning, having desire, or wanting their lives to end. He does not give Elijah, and in turn, he does not give us, who also struggle, a list of reasons why we should love our lives or find fulfillment there. He simply meets our needs and cares for us as a loving father would care for his children.

2. The best response to SI is holistic care. There are many ways to care for those who are struggling with these thoughts. Sometimes it is necessary for individuals to be cared for in an inpatient setting at a behavioral health hospital. Other times, it is enough to lend a listening ear and provide for basic needs. When we are struggling mentally and emotionally, it is helpful to ask ourselves or others some questions: “Have you eaten a healthy meal recently?” “Have you drunk enough water?” “Have you slept well the last few nights?” We shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions, judging, or even seeking to fix the desires and thoughts of others. We should be seeking to not only care for our friend’s mental needs but also their physical ones. For our bodies heavily influence our mind and emotions.

I think this passage in 1 Kings gives a lot of hope for those suffering with suicidal thoughts and ideations. It gives direction to those who are seeking to care for these individuals. I know that this passage is descriptive rather than prescriptive, but I believe that the applications I have drawn from this passage are good and right. 1 Kings 19 provides a drawing back of the curtain, a closer look at the heart of our God.

I know there are countless more questions when it comes to these topics; this article has not touched the majority of them. I am tempted to make this article appear more like a book and seek to answer more questions. I think, though, that I want to leave you with this:

You are not, you are never, alone.

God cares about your thoughts and desires, the state of your mental and emotional well-being.

We should seek to care for those struggling with these things. We shouldn’t jump to conclusions but care holistically for our brothers and sisters.

If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide. I want you to know. God hears and sees you. Those around you may be judging or jumping to conclusions, but God isn’t. He is seeking to care for and to love you. If you need physical rest, take a nap. If you need sustenance, eat a good meal. If you need protection, seek opportunities to go inpatient and get medical treatment. If you need counsel, seek out a wise and helpful practitioner who can point you towards Christ and provide therapeutic help. Please do not underestimate the power of caring for our physical bodies.

If you are struggling, please don’t struggle alone. Bring your thoughts and desires to your heavenly Father. Bring them to your church and other safe and trusted individuals. As humans, we were never meant to walk through this life alone. We have been given the church, God’s people, to support and bear our burdens, just as we, in turn, seek to support and bear the burdens of our brothers and sisters.

If you don’t have anyone to talk to, remember that you can reach out to the suicide hotline at 988. Don’t feel shame for doing so. Many others, as well as myself, have called and received help and support from this line.